Caveman vs. Liberal (part 1)

Meet an unfrozen (non-lawyer) caveman, Ug and a liberal, Uwe.

Uwe: We must protect that helpless seal from those evil poachers!

Ug: Seal delicious. But kill too many and Earth-Mother kill poacher.

(after a pause, then a wry smile)
Uwe: Yeah, I hope they get what’s coming to them.

Ug: Ug kill Uwe for saying stupid thing!

Uwe: No, you’re a peaceful, nature-loving people!

Ug: Yes, Ug feed Uwe to Earth-Mother.

Uwe: Yeah, see, that contradicts the “peaceful” part.

Ug: What that?

Uwe: You know, pacifism? Turn your other cheek when you get slapped?

Ug: I slap fox, fox bite. I slap bear, bear maul. I slap worm, worm burrow in soil.
Ug appears giddy
Ug: What creature learn you that?

Uwe: Jesus, but I only follow his secu-

Ug interrupts…

Ug: Where Jeezus? Ug hunt! Ug hunt! No-run-away-beast gift from Earth-Mother!

(to be continued…)

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