Merry Christmas! (2 bulletins I posted on MySpace)
Tuesday, December 25th, 2007Have your sacrifice to Freyr (Christmas Ham), make love-play under the sperm-dew plant (Mistletoe, this one’s kinda a stretch), light your piece of Yggdrasil (Great Ashen Fagot, only slightly a stretch), leave gifts for Odin and his 8-legged horse, slepnir (Santa Claus, yes, really), and enjoy your seasonal merrymaking, you filthy, filthy heathens.
Further Reading:
http://adsabs.harvard.edu/full/1937JRASC..31..347C
http://www.gutenberg.org/etext/598
http://books.google.com/books?id=1XRjAyL8LogC&printsec=frontcover
This is the season (not the time of the year, you Northern Hemisphere-centric jerks!) where families get together to relax, to be comfortable, and to feast. In Australia, where Christmas lands in Summer, they celebrate “Yulefest” in Winter. Christmas existed before any Jesus was shoehorned in (the Christian Christmas only dates back to the 4th century or so) and persists without. The true meaning of Christmas isn’t supernatural. Celebrations for Winter Solstice or other Winter holidays around the world follow the same basic pattern of family holiday in the Winter. There are countless differences with regard to the supernatural and, interesting though they may be, and as difficult as it would be to shut me up about them, they aren’t important here.
What matters is Winter is a time of famine and a time of cold. Just when you need more calories to stay warm, there’s less food available. You might hibernate, like the bears in the forest near where I live or my pet, ugh, “Mediterranean” Tortoise. But like many Animals, we humans stay awake, but lower our energy levels to conserve resources (probably.. what am I, a doctor?)
Except the famine and cold thing doesn’t matter so much, at least not to anyone who’s able to read this. If you can afford a computer, you’ll survive through the winter, even if you run around and eat less. But psychologically, we all still need at least some time off, even if physiologically we can handle year-round stress. Ugh, the fact that I’m working this week is notwithstanding; I invoke the “do as I say, not as I do” doctrine.
So, the true meaning of Christmas is family/socializing, eating, and being very lazy. Isn’t what you’re doing or really wanting to do right now in some way revolving around these three things? So now that you’re done standing in long lines getting people things they’ll never use or appreciate you for, how ’bout having some whiskey and a butt-load of food and bullshit about times past?